Now that's a topic I want to see addressed more often. If you're a working family caregiver, what would some of your expectations be? I know what mine are!! First, I want to be acknowledged that it's tough. I don't want sympathy (but that would be nice), it would be great if my HR Benefit's manager would give me the respect that we caregivers deserve.
How many of you are given empathy and hear the words, "I know it's tough and your family must appreciate all you're doing, but we have a job to do here." When I hear that, it's like all those good vibes you poured my way went down the toilet.
One day I asked the HR manager if we, the family caregivers, could set up a support group at lunch just to share the treasures we've found that help us save time and energy.. the ones that help us balance our lives?
"You know, we wish you could, but that's against company policy. If we allow one group to meet on site, then we're opening ourselves up to all sorts of issues."
Hmmm... I wonder what those issues are? I thought quietly. Then asked, "well, can we at least send one another an email sharing our resources?"
"No, that's company property, you can't use it for personal usage."
Okay, I thought to myself... I guess you just want us to spend time away from our tasks to do online research while we're sitting at our desks!! And if we can't share our information that means you can multiply that non-productivity by at least 25 other employees doing the same research!
Huh?
4 comments:
This is a HUGE problem in the workplace. As the author of MOTHERING MOTHER: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir, I talk to people every day who are at their rope's end--they're worried about being fired because they've had so many emergencies/taking time off to care for their parents--much moreso than when their children were young. One woman sat across from me in tears--she had been an employee there for 20 years and worried she would be "let go" because of her mother. She was in her early fifties--a time when life should be good--your kids are raised, you can begin to travel, relax a little. She looked bedraggled, sleep deprived and sick with worry.
Surely there should be more support and alternatives for such a dedicated employee. If companies can run day-cares, they might also need to pool together (many companies perhaps in the same area) and offer adult day care. This is only a temporary solution, but it could allow the worker a few extended months or years. It's a shame to think that after putting in that much time and needing to continue to work toward your own career goals and retirement/financial goals, that caregiving--and act of love and devotion would cause them to lose so very, very much.
MOTHERING MOTHER was written in real time over the last three years of my mother's life as I became that full-time stay at home caregiver. I wrote the truths, the nitty gritty, the fears, frustrations and resentments that come in tow--but it's embraced with touches of humor and grace. I hope you'll check it out.
MOTHERING MOTHER is available on Amazon and in most bookstores. www.mothering-mother.com
Well said. Mothering Mother is a book I'll be checking out. You've got a lot to say. Thanks,
Carol Bradley Bursack
Minding Our Elders
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