Caregiving and Anger - A Paradox?

As a caregiver, no doubt you know you are doing a wonderful, loving thing in caring for your elder...and....do you ever feel anger? Are you ashamed of it? Do You feel resentful sometimes that you arrive to work late and must leave early to take care of it all? Is your relationship with your partner and/or children suffering?

Are there times you want to scream when thinking about the next errand you must run or the calls that need to get done on their behalf? Anger will be addressed here..we know that anger often goes with caregiving; but, rarely do we talk about it.

Guilt is a complex emotion that is often misattributed and more time than a few anger can be the driving force of guilt. The feeling, guilt, should stem from a wrongdoing, but all too often it grows from our desire to strive for a better quality of life when others around us are in great need. Even the delegation of tasks evokes guilt, as we come to believe no one can do the job as well as we can. Never forget what family caregiving is at its core, however: a combination of individual tasks. Getting your car inspected before the end of the month is not nearly as important as the pre-surgery consultation with the specialist. It is not wrong to delegate.

Let’s understand guilt. It’s the biggest emotional challenge you’ll face as a family caregiver. Guilt will rip away at the relationship ties you’ve built with the aging loved one and yourself. It’s painful and can certainly threaten your coping.

What is guilt? The dictionary defines the word "guilt" as a "feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined." Guilt is that part of the human conscience that brings us up short and convicts us for actions and thoughts.

Guilt is an inherent human trait that should be seen as a gift, however, most of us do not see it as such and rather than deal with guilt, we naturally attempt to squelch it. However, guilt is that nagging voice with in us all that is like water upon a stone and is meant to bring us to a realization that there is a standard and we have fallen short, but whose standard is it?

Let’s talk about anger! And even more important, let’s take positive steps to effectively address anger before we’re raked into the mad cycle of anger, guilt, anger, guilt, etc. This damages our health, peace of mind, and the joy we deserve to have in our lives.

Workingcaregiver.com invites you to our Caregiving and Anger TeleSeminar on June 5th:

In this one hour live teleseminar we'll discuss:

1. Trusting our own perceptions.
2. Accepting our anger.
3. Setting definite limits on what we will do.
4. Recognizing how both our strengths and limitations serve us.
5. Allowing our loved ones to do as much for themselves as they can.
6. Asking for help….the road is very tough to travel alone.
7. Taking time for respite. Rest and recovery is vital.
8. Making choices in our own best interest--it will benefit the entire family

Sign up at register@workingcaregiver.com

Hope you can join us! For more information go to: http://www.workingcaregiver.com/Teleseminar

Carol Marak, Founder, http://www.workingcaregiver.com