Care for the Caregiver

Have you noticed how some people make caregiving look really hard while other's breeze through tasks? That's how it was with my sisters. I watched both administer loving care and concern for my parents. Janice made it really, really hard, while Virginia made the most of it and rarely showed frustration!

Hmm, I'd wonder? How does Virginia do it so easily while Janice struggles with each moment, dreading each visit! It was written all over her face. And Virginia literally walked on air.. smiling! WOW! I wanted that too! So, I simply observed Virginia and decided to follow along. Here are some things I picked up and want to share with you:

Upon assigning a "care task" to one of the siblings, she'd walk away, totally letting it go, giving full responsibility to that person/sibling. She no longer owned it! Virginia "let go" and went on to do her plans. She did this so eloquently, I often thought she needs to teach us her skill!

My sister, Janice, was the opposite. She obsessed with mom & dad's care. Never letting go - never trusting us to do it right. It was rare that she walked away.. if she did, it was begrudgingly. I guess she thought she was the only one who could do it right! So, what happened? No breaks for her! And guess what? She was always exhausted and complained a lot. Eventually, she developed high cholestrol & shingles! Ugh! That literally forced her out of caring for him for a month.

Consider these tips when you want to take care of yourself - I picked these up from watching Virginia!

Have fun and laugh - as often as possible
Avoid talking about dad and he care when socializing
Delegate some responsibilities and let them own it
Focus on something good in your life
She learned the difference between complaining for the sake of relief and complaining for the sake of... well you know
Had no problem admitting helplessness
Virginia gave a lot of support AND she learned to accept.. sometimes demanded, help without being over-bearing
She found her own peaceful spot and went there often
Openly admitted her inability without shame
And she tried to be gentle with herself!
Loves to play!

And remember to call the Caregiver's Resource Helpline! 1-888-797-7806 - for common concerns of aging!

Thank you for visiting!