How far does the average long-distance caregiver live from his care recipient? MetLife study shows 450 miles. But whether you're next door or 1,000 miles away from the aging recipient, it can be tough to make sure everything is okay.
My first advice is don't wait till there's a crisis before you broach the topic of planning for the future with them. Helping out your aging parents is a process not an event. Believe me, when helping my parents, we waited too long to plan out how their lives would play out.. it all started with my mom's open heart surgery at age eighty!
An easy way to start a conversation with them about planning for their future is to take advantage of a comment or complaint. Are they starting to talk about the house and yard being a burden for them? That would be a good time to ask if you could help them take care a few things. Once your tackled that delicate subject, go on to the tougher ones like discussing finances. Suggest helping them pay their bills. It was difficult for my dad when reading the finer print so he would ask me to read them aloud. That's when I jumped in and offered to help pay his monthly bills too.
Or if you cannot visit them often have a trusted neighbor check on them, or hire a geriatric care manager to make home visits. Go to FindaCareManager.org, a website of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers.
These are a few helpful tips in the planning process of your relative's aging journey. They may not need your help this moment but as time passes, they certainly will.
More helpful tips coming....
Thank you for visiting.
Carol at WorkingCaregiver.com
2 comments:
This is great advice! Many older adults don't want to ask for help but are very relieved when you offer to help.
Brothers and sisters need to be part of the conversation, too. Sibling rivalries, that you thought were gone, can suddenly arise to cause a tidal wave of negative emotion and hurt feelings.
Talking about who will help Mom and Dad for banking, for medical appointments and for emergencies may allow you to share the duties so that no one person feels totally burdened by caregiving.
Sharing like this can relieve huge amounts of worry. No one wants to think about a parent being gravely ill or incapacitated but some of us worry about it privately. Open conversations can lead the way to having a plan for issues as they arise.
The most important thing -- do it today.
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